Financial Planning for Solo Motherhood

Let me say the quiet part loud: becoming a single mom by choice is expensive. The fertility treatments, the donor sperm, the childcare, the everything — it adds up in ways that can feel overwhelming if you don't plan for them.

But it's also more manageable than I feared, once I stopped panicking and started budgeting.

The Conception Costs

Here's roughly what I spent getting pregnant (your numbers will vary widely):

Sperm bank: Vials, storage, and shipping ran about $3,000–$5,000 total across attempts

IUI procedures: About $1,500–$2,500 per cycle, partially covered by my insurance

Monitoring: Ultrasounds and bloodwork, $500–$1,000 per cycle after insurance

Medications: $200–$800 per cycle

I was lucky — three IUI cycles worked. IVF, if it had come to that, would have been significantly more.

The Ongoing Costs

Childcare is the big one. In my area, full-time infant daycare runs $1,800–$2,400 per month. That's roughly a second rent payment. I planned for this by starting a dedicated savings account two years before I began trying.

Other recurring costs I track:

Diapers and supplies

Pediatric visits and medication

Formula (I combination fed)

Occasional babysitting beyond daycare hours

How I Made It Work

I got honest about my spending. I tracked every dollar for three months before starting fertility treatments. The amount I was spending on things I didn't need or even particularly enjoy was surprising.

I built a runway. Before my first IUI, I had six months of expenses saved, plus a separate fertility fund. This gave me room to breathe during the process.

I leaned into benefits. FSA accounts, dependent care FSAs (once the baby arrived), tax credits, employer benefits I'd never fully explored — all of it mattered.

I accepted trade-offs. I moved to a slightly less expensive apartment. I drive a boring car. I almost never buy new clothes for myself. These aren't deprivations; they're choices that let me afford the life I actually want.

The Mindset Shift

The biggest financial change wasn't tactical — it was emotional. I stopped thinking of single motherhood as financially reckless and started thinking of it as a major life investment worthy of serious planning. That shift made everything that followed feel less scary and more strategic.