The Two-Week Wait: Surviving the Emotional Rollercoaster

If you've been through fertility treatment, you know about the two-week wait (TWW). If you haven't, let me describe it: imagine taking the most important exam of your life and being told you won't get the results for fourteen days.

Now imagine that the exam is whether you're going to become a parent.

The First Few Days

Days one through three after my IUI, I felt optimistic. Energized, even. I'd done the thing. The science was working. I ate well, took my vitamins, went to bed early.

By day four, the symptom-searching began.

The Symptom Spiral

Is that a cramp or implantation? Is that nausea or anxiety? Are my breasts sore because of the progesterone or because it worked? Why do I feel exactly the same as I did yesterday — is that bad?

I spent more time on fertility forums during the TWW than I'm willing to quantify. I don't recommend it. I also know you're going to do it anyway.

What Actually Helped

A distraction list. Before my TWW started, I wrote down twenty things I could do to occupy my brain. Movies to watch, friends to call, walks to take, recipes to try. Having a physical list meant I didn't have to think of distractions while distracted.

Movement. Nothing intense — my doctor okayed walking, yoga, and swimming. Moving my body was the single most effective way to interrupt the anxiety loop.

Limiting testing. I promised myself I wouldn't test before day twelve. I broke that promise during my first TWW (day nine, negative, cried for an hour, tested again at day thirteen and it was positive). By my third cycle, I held firm. There's a reason doctors say to wait.

Therapy. My therapist and I added an extra session during each TWW. Having a scheduled place to dump all the feelings made them slightly less overwhelming.

When It Doesn't Work

My first TWW ended with a period that arrived like a cruel punctuation mark. I was devastated in a way that surprised me — I'd told myself I was prepared for a negative, but preparation and experience are different things.

If you're reading this after a failed cycle, I'm sorry. It's okay to grieve. It's okay to take a cycle off. It's okay to feel whatever you're feeling, including nothing at all.

When It Does

My third TWW ended with a faint second line at 6 a.m. on a Tuesday. I stared at it for ten minutes, took three more tests, and then sat on my bathroom floor and cried — differently this time.

Whatever phase of the wait you're in right now, I'm rooting for you.